I live here

This is where I go to work out. You can kind of see me in the hat.

At the car wash

summer concert series begins...

ben gibbard. special guest jenny lewis. lots of smiles.

oh brother...

i have a brother. he is currently a worship pastor in big bear lake, california.

i cry every time i am in the congregation and he is leading worship. every time.

this past weekend i had the chance to be lead into worship by him. i was visiting my family for mother's day. i realized half way through the first song that my mom was staring at me. later in the day she told me that i have always looked at my brother in a certain way. since i was a little girl i would look at him and smile - she says it makes her feel good that i still look at aaron with the same smile.

this made me think about why i cry when my brother leads worship. this is difficult because i struggle with the thought of "worship" in most churches - the feeling that i'm at a concert. the idea that the congregation feels as though they need to do nothing else in their act of worship except sing some songs...

anyway, back to my brother. why do i cry? it takes me back to junior high...

when i was in junior high my brother started to learn how to play the guitar. he picked it up pretty quickly and was soon shutting himself in his room and playing for hours. he started to get VERY good.

i remember many nights laying on my bed in the room next to him listening to him play. it was awesome - my own personal concert. he would play and sing for hours. i loved it.

one night he accidentally left his door open a little. i sat in the hallway to try and get a peak at him. he was so consumed with playing that he didn't notice me opening the door a bit more. i remember watching him. his eyes closed, hands traveling up and down the guitar and his voice projecting to the room. that was when i first realized what worship was. no, he wasn't playing a worship song. he was playing "one" by U2. it was his presence, his emotion, his total commitment to what he was singing and playing.

when my brother leads worship now, fifteen years later he still has that look. he hasn't lost it. when i see him on stage it is as if he is sitting in his room at the age of sixteen playing the hell out of his guitar. committed to what he is saying. believing in the power that is moving through him. in awe of who he is worshiping.

i'm sure people appreciate my brother's worship leading skills, his musical ability and his all around artistic nature. i'm sure some people think he is full of it and want him to go away... i don't think aaron is perfect. we disagree a lot. we argue. he is a flawed man (and i a flawed woman). but, i appreciate the absolute innocence that he brings - that i know he is up there, before everyone, taking them to a place that he isn't afraid to go himself. he would do the same thing if he were in his room all by himself. it gives me hope for church. it really does.

that is my brother.

my spring break was awesome for several reasons:

day one - new york
-world trade center memorial
-coffee in the financial district
-wall street
-staten island (to see the statue of liberty)
-brooklyn bridge (walked half way across)
-coney island for a nathan's original hot dog
-greenwich village
-NYU
-soho (where i dropped lots of money at this great record store)
-empire state building
-madison square garden
-classic new york pizza

day two - new york
-today show, rockefeller center
-trip to the top of rockefeller plaza (amazing views of the city)
-radio city music hall
-st. patricks cathedral
-5th avenue
-trump towers
-sony store
-apple store (amazing)
-walk through central park
-the met
-harlem
-columbia university (loved this school)
-times square
-bryant park
-new york public library
-search for now closed CBGB's
-dinner at bubbies in tribeca

day three - travel from new york to boston
-stop at yale university
-drive to newport, rhode island
-drive to providence, rhode island
-stop at brown university
-drive to cape cod
-pull into boston around 8:00 p.m.

day four - boston
-breakfast at dunkin' donuts
-water shuttle to charleston
-climbed bunker hill memorial
-faneuil hall marketplace
-walk portion of freedom trail
-lunch at cheers (no one knew my name)
-public gardens and boston common
-walk down newbury street
-walk to beacon hill
-trip to boston college (in the pouring rain/sleet)
-dinner at giacomis (amazingly good italian food)
-mike's pastry's for some original boston cream pie

day five - boston
-northeastern university
-boston university
-cambridge
-harvard
-MIT
-shopping downtown
-fenway park to watch the red sox beat the angels

day six - travel home
-luggage lost by american airlines

day seven - home
-luggage still lost

day eight - still home
-luggage still lost

day nine - home, still
-luggage finally delivered

i'm pretty sure we say in five days what it takes many people a month to experience. great trip. glad to finally have my luggage back.

is this seat taken?

so - went to church this morning...

from the back of the church i spot a seat. it's on the end. i walk towards it as i approach i see a woman give me the evil eye. as i got even closer she stares me down and says "taken".

service is beginning. i see another open seat. i walk toward it. what is that? a bulletin on the seat and the one next to it... bulletins on the entire row. two men mid-row solemnly lift their heads to tell me they are all saved.

we are now half way through the first worship song. people are finding their seats. greeting family. i am alone. seemingly walking in circles to find an open spot.

out of the corner of my eye i spot an opening. but it is located in the middle of the row. i am committed, though. i'll climb over people. i'm here for church. the first worship song is ending. the pastor is greeting people. i begin to crawl over a row of annoyed church goers. as i begin my descent to the aforementioned seat someone gets to it from the other side. crap.

at this point i crawl back over the annoyed family. look around one last time. then - i sneak out the back.

easter service was spent at my favorite coffee shop near the hermosa pier sipping an orange dreamsicle drink and journaling about the easter season. thank you hope chapel for being too full for me and allowing me to be contemplative in a coffee shop with my favorite drink.


i leave for new york city tonight. spring break should be great. new york. then to boston. then home. plane leaves at nine o'clock tonight.

yeah.

ha ha ha ha hee hee hee

this made me laugh today...